More...

1. Flying isn't dangerous. Crashing is what's dangerous.

2. The propeller is just a big fan in front of the plane used to keep the pilot cool. When it stops, you can actually watch the pilot start sweating.

3. When in doubt, hold on to your altitude. No-one has ever collided with the sky.

4. A 'good' landing is one from which you can walk away. A 'great' landing is one after which they can use the plane again.

5. Learn from the mistakes of others. You won't live long enough to make all of them yourself.

6. Stay out of clouds. The silver lining everyone keeps talking about might be another airplane going in the opposite direction. Reliable sources also report that mountains have been known to hide out in clouds.

7. Always try to keep the number of landings you make equal to the number of take offs you've made.

8. There are three simple rules for making a smooth landing.
Unfortunately no-one knows what they are.

9. You start with a bag full of luck and an empty bag of experience. The trick is to fill the bag of experience before you empty the bag of luck.

10. Helicopters can't fly; they're just so ugly the earth repels them.

11. Good judgment comes from experience. Unfortunately, the experience usually comes from bad judgment.

12. It's always a good idea to keep the pointy end going forward as much as possible.

13. Keep looking around. There's always something you've missed.

14. Remember, gravity is not just a good idea. It's the law. And it's not subject to repeal.

15. There are old pilots and there are bold pilots. There are, however, no old bold pilots.

Basic Flying Rules
1. Try to stay in the middle of the air.
2. Do not go near the edges of it.
3. The edges of the air can be recognized by the appearance of ground, buildings, sea, trees and interstellar space. It is much more difficult to fly there.

You might be an r/c modeler if.....
You are making an inverted low pass and then pull UP on the elevator
You get to the field and realize your transmitter is still on charge at home
You will go flying when it's 104 but you wont cut the grass for your wife cause" it's too hot out there"
You buy a $600 mini lathe to make $5 airplane parts
You can program a multifunction 9 channel computer radio but you can figure out your VCR
You have a dog-eared Tower Hobbies catalog in your bathroom
You spend $12.50 to get your wife some costume jewelry and $365 for r/c stuff and figure everything is even
You consider a Sunday picnic a few hot dogs and some soda at the field
Your wedding anniversary falls on the weekend of a fly in and you actually think about your choices
You shop Toys-R-Us for pilots
You have balls of dust on top of your living room furniture
You have EVER glued your hands together with CA and have had to use an exacto knife in your teeth to cut them apart.
You have built two right wings for a single winged plane
You are shopping for land to build your dream home on and would rather have open pastureland than rolling wooded hills
You have at least 3 planes in separate stages of completion
You think R/C flying should be an Olympic event.
You wear goggles and a silk scarf around your neck on the way to the field
You have at least 10 T-shirts with airplanes on them
You use more waxed paper building planes than your wife does baking
You buy the "wife and kids" a new Pentium 3 computer for Christmas so you can practice with the Dave Brown flight simulator
You introduce your wife as your co- pilot

1. Every takeoff is optional. Every landing is mandatory.

 2. If you push the stick forward, the houses get bigger. If you pull the  stick back, they get smaller. That is, unless you keep pulling the stick  all the way back, then they get bigger again.

 3. Flying isn't dangerous. Crashing is what's dangerous.

 4. It's always better to be down here wishing you were up there, than up  there wishing you were down here.

 5. The ONLY time you have too much fuel is when you're on fire.

 6. The propeller is just a big fan in front of the plane used to keep  the pilot cool. When it stops, you can actually watch the pilot start  sweating.

 7. When in doubt, hold on to your altitude. No one has ever collided  with the sky.

 8. A 'good' landing is one from which you can walk away. A 'great'  landing is one after which they can use the plane again.

 9. Learn from the mistakes of others. You won't live long enough to make  all of them yourself.

 10. You know you've landed with the wheels up if it takes full power to  taxi to the ramp.

 11. The probability of survival is inversely proportional to the angle  of arrival. Large angle of arrival, small probability of survival and  vice versa.

 12. Never let an aircraft take you somewhere your brain didn't get to  five minutes earlier.

 13. Stay out of clouds. The silver lining everyone keeps talking about  might be another airplane going in the opposite direction. Reliable  sources also report that mountains have been known to hide out in  clouds.

 14. Always try to keep the number of landings you make equal to the  number of take offs you've made.

 15. There are three simple rules for making a smooth landing.  Unfortunately no one knows what they are.

 16. You start with a bag full of luck and an empty bag of experience.  The trick is to fill the bag of experience before you empty the bag of  luck.

 17. Helicopters can't fly; they're just so ugly the earth repels them. 

 18. If all you can see out of the window is ground that's going round  and round and all you can hear is commotion coming from the passenger  compartment, things are not at all as they should be.

 19. In the ongoing battle between objects made of aluminum going  hundreds of miles per hour and the ground going zero miles per hour, the  ground has yet to lose.

 20. Good judgment comes from experience. Unfortunately, the experience  usually comes from bad judgment.

 21. It's always a good idea to keep the pointy end going forward as much  as possible.

 22. Keep looking around. There's always something you've missed. 

I Can Fly!

I can't land.

An 80-year-old man went to the doctor for a check-up and the doctor was amazed at what good shape the guy was in.  The doctor asked, "To what do you attribute your good health?"  

The old timer said, "I'm an R/C pilot and that's why I'm in such good shape.  I'm up just after daylight and out chasing thermals up and down the mountains."  

The doctor said, "Well, I'm sure that helps, but there's got to be more to it.  How old was your dad when he died?"  

The old timer said, "Who said my dad's dead?"  The doctor said, "You mean you're 80 years old and your dad's still alive?  How old is he?"  The old timer said, "He's 100 years old and, in fact, he flew Zagis with me this morning, and that's why he's still alive, he's an R/C flyer."  

The doctor said, "Well, that's great, but I'm sure there's more to it.  How about your dad's dad?  How old was he when he died?"  The old timer said, "Who said my grandpa's dead?"  

The doctor said, "You mean you're 80 years old and your grandfather's still living!  How old is he?"  The old timer said, "He's 118 years old."  The doctor was getting frustrated at this point and said, "I guess he went flying with you this morning too?"  

The old timer said, "No, Grandpa couldn't go this morning because he got married."  The Doctor said in amazement, "Got married!!  Why would a 118-year-old guy want to get married?"  The old timer said, "Who said he wanted to?"

AIRPLANE - Heavier than air machine that flies like it's heavier than air.

BALSA - An extremely light substitute for gold.

CRASH - Method of seeing inside a model airplane.

DINNER - A meal that is always cold by the time you get back from flying.

DUCTED-FAN: A high-maintenance salad shooter.

ELEVATOR - Device to prevent level flight.

ENGINE - Device that doesn't start when you want it to, and cuts your fingers.

FAIL SAFE - Option on PCM radio's that allows a pilot to choose whether to crash near him, or a long way away.

FLYING FIELD - Take off area. Landings occur elsewhere.

GIRLS - Something to be interested in before you take up flying.

GLIDE-TIME (1): The time between the Engine falling out and the Airplane hitting the ground.

GLIDE-TIME (2): Time between the Wings folding and the airplane hitting the ground.

HINGE - Device to prevent control surface movement and cause flutter.

INSTRUCTOR: Old pilot who loves flying and teaching others to fly...usually can not tell you how many planes he has crashed.

INVERTED FLIGHT - Method of landing without wear and tear on the wheels.

JOKER - Person who invites you to "taxi back" after a dead stick landing.

LANDING - Test of strength between your plane and the planet.

LB. - Abbreviation for "pound", used to describe how much overweight an airplane is.

MIXTURE SCREW - Device to meter too little fuel to the engine at critical moments.

MOTOR - Electric device that starts when you don't want it to, and cuts your fingers.

NOSE WHEEL - Device that prevents an airplane from landing without bouncing.

PLUG - (1)-Electrical device for making intermittent contact in your engine's ignition.

PLUG - (2)-Electrical device for making intermittent contact with your radio.

PROPELLER: Wood, plastic or composite device used to stabilize inferior landings.

RADIO - Device that enables an airplane to crash in different places than it otherwise would.

RECEIVER - Part of the radio system that picks up interference.

RUNWAY: Flat object used by student pilots to walk on to retrieve aircraft which "almost landed ok".

SKID - Another word for spinner.

SPINNER - Critical part of landing gear.

TAIL ASSEMBLY: Fragile device which has affinity for door frames during non-flight transport.

TANK - Temporary storage place for chemicals before they saturate the airplane.

TRAINER: Inexpensive throw-a-way device used by beginning pilots to scare instructors and spectators with.

TRANSMITTER or RECEIVER FAILURE: Something which happens only on first flight of a plane (usually the last flight, too).